Of all the achievements of evolution – the ability to extract oxygen from the air, to make sugar from light, to create specialized tissues and organs like bones, muscles, livers, and kidneys, and eyes that can see the world around us – the human brain is probably the crown jewel. The human brain devised all of the words you are reading right now, built the computers and the Internet we are using the share these ideas, and – oh by the way – is the only reason the human race has come to dominate the planet rather than just being easy meals for tigers and bears.

And yet…

People are eating “pods” of detergent because the internet told them it was a good idea.

There is close to a 100% chance that, as someone who decided to read a post from a science advocacy website, you already know that eating laundry detergent is not a good idea. Children occasionally have eaten these pods through the years, enticed by their bright colors and nice smell. U.S. poison control received over 10,000 reports of children who ingested detergent pods in 2017. Most of these kids were just fine, because they used their already highly advanced brains to quickly figure out they shouldn’t eat the whole thing, but these pods can be dangerous to kids, and there are warning labels all over the boxes reminding you to store them away form small children. To date, there are eight confirmed deaths from eating detergent pods, mostly in adults with dementia.

The trouble started with a satirical article from The Onion in 2015. It was written form the perspective of a toddler talking about how he was going to find a way to eat a detergent pod no matter what his parents did to stop him. It was funny, but it spawned an internet meme – the Tide Pod Challenge – which is basically a fake version of the ice bucket or cinnamon challenge. The meme was funny too, but (as often happens) some people either didn’t understand it was a joke, or just decided to take it too far. The Onion is now making fun of the meme that they started three years ago. YouTube is taking down Tide Pod Challenge videos and Tide has added a bitter tasting substance to their pods to try and stop people from eating them. All this because of a silly joke.

So what is in a Tide Pod? Glad you asked!

Detergents. These chemicals breakdown dirt and do most of the cleaning. They are also pretty nasty when they contact your skin, mouth, esophagus, or stomach lining.

• Linear alkylbenzene sulfonates
• Alcoholethoxy sulfate
• Fatty acid salts
• Alcohol ethoylates

Polymers. After detergents pull dirt out of clothes, these bind with dirt in the water and keep it from going back into the clothes.

• Glycerin
• Polyethyleneimine ethoxylate
• PEG-136 polyvinyl acetate
• Styrene/acrylates copolymer
• Diethylenetriamine pentaacetate

Enzymes. These break down specific natural components often found in stains

• Subtilisin – Isolated form bacteria, this breaks down proteins
• Amylase – Breaks down sugars
• Mannanase – This breaks down mannans, which are types of sugars commonly found in plants.

Other stuff

• Water, propylene glycol, dipropylene glycol – solvents
• Polyvinyl alcohol film – the thin film than holds the detergent which rapidly degrades when exposed to water.
• Monoethanolamine citrate, sodium bisulfate, sodium formate, hydrogenated castor oil, calcium formate, sodium bisulfate, benzisothiazolinone – stabilizers, thickeners and preservatives.
• Disodium distyrylbbiphenol disulfonate – brightener
• Perfume and colorant

The detergents are the biggest concern here. They will irritate your mouth, esophagus and stomach. Because of this, it’s probably very rare for anyone to eat an entire Tide Pod, because it will hurt, and you will probably throw up.  Eating one pod will not kill you, but if you eat enough it could. They are particularly dangerous if you inhale some of the ingredients, which can happen as you are gasping in pain or vomiting. The detergents can severely damage your lungs, leading to potentially life-threatening respiratory distress. At very high doses, these pods can cause seizures, pulmonary edema, respiratory arrest, coma, and even death.

These pods are filled with nasty stuff because they are meant to wash your clothes, not to be eaten. The maker of Tide (Proctor and Gamble) has gone so far as to start a social media campaign staring New England Patriots tight end and professional fun guy Rob “Gronk” Gronkowski urging people not to eat detergent pods. It seems possible that Gronk was chosen specifically because he seems like the kind of dude who might decide to eat a pod for fun.

Do not eat detergent pods. They are poison. This is an Internet joke, and while the Internet is very useful and often very funny, it has been known to mislead people from time to time. This is one of those times.

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