We have talked about the lack of scientific support for detox diets in the past, but one practice we have not addressed is the kinda-sorta-logical-if-you-squint extension of detoxing – cleansing, or more specifically cleansing the bowels. Look, we totally agree that this is gross, and honestly, we’d rather be talking about non-gross cool things like narwhals, pluto, or platypuses. However, cleansing is a potentially dangerous form of “Alternative Medicine” with no basis in scientific fact, which makes it exactly the kind of thing a science advocacy site like UYBFS should be writing about. So we’ll try to make this as fun and as non-gross as possible, ok? Right, here it goes…

WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE PUSH A BUNCH OF LIQUID INTO THEIR COLON ON PURPOSE?

Medical Use. Despite the indignity of the act, there are actually a few valid medical reasons for doing so. When performed as part of (or in preparation for) a medical procedure, this is called an enema. You may have seen enemas in your local pharmacy, and it might have made you giggle (grow up, dude), but these have a real place in medicine. The two most common medical uses for enemas are emptying the lower bowel in preparation for a colonoscopy (a procedure in which a camera is inserted into the colon in order to visualize ulcerations, polyps, or colon cancer) and when a contrast agent (barium sulfate) is introduced into the colon in order to image it more effectively using X-rays.

There several other less common reasons for enema use, including the treatment of severe constipation or impaction (super gross), and the administration of certain drugs. These are treatments all people should aim to avoid.

Recreational Use. There are some people out there who use enemas in a non-medical, recreational way. If that’s your thing, that’s cool – just be safe about it, and make sure your doctor knows what you’re up to. That’s all we are gonna say about that.

Believing – against all evidence – that it’s somehow good for you. This is where “Alternative Medicine” comes in. There are some who believe that over time “toxins,” undigested food, and accumulated feces build up in the colon and cause health problems. These could really be any health problems – from GI issues to a general lack of well-being, low energy or short attention spans, to serious heath conditions like cancer and infertility. The idea is that you can wash out all of these bad things with periodic cleanings and make everything ok.

There was a time, hundreds to thousands of years ago, when some scientists and doctors believed that colon cleansing might offer benefits. This was based on the long-since disproved theory of auto-intoxication, which hypothesized that toxins entered the body with your food and hung out in the intestines slowly poisoning you. Today we know better.

THAT SOUNDS LOGICAL, WHY WOULDN’T IT WORK?

It doesn’t work because that are no toxins, undigested food and accumulated feces built up in our colon. Your intestines are really good at digesting food and extracting all the bioavailable nutrients (and non-nutrients). It does this because is has a very high surface area due to trillions of projections call villi on the surface of the lining of your gut. If, hypothetically, these tiny projections were somehow encased in an impenetrable sludge of undigested food and feces, you would die and die quickly. This is because you wouldn’t be able to extract the nutrients from your food. You would lose weight no matter how much you ate. You’d become deficient in pretty much every essential vitamin or mineral. Worst of all you would become dehydrated, since you wouldn’t be able to absorb the water you drink effectively. This sounds like a horrible way to die, right? It would be – but luckily it never happens, because your intestines are good at their job. They don’t need your help. Just leave them alone, dude…

Cleansing aficionados (and people trying to sell you cleanses) will give you a long list of supposed benefits of cleansing. They are all false. To keep this article from getting too long, while “shining some light” on the issue, here is a list of supposed benefits of cleansing, each answered by our UYBFS staff in 20 words or less.

Claim: It pulls harmful toxins out of your colon!

UYBFS: There are no toxins. If there were and they were trapped in your colon, how would they make you sick?

Claim: It aids in digestion!

UYBFS: It literally does the opposite.

Claim: It reduces constipation!

UYBFS: Just take laxative, dude. Or stop eating all that cheese?

Claim: It gives you more energy, helps with concentration or “well-being”, reduces anxiety, etc…

UYBFS: No it doesn’t.

Claim: It aids in weight loss!

UYBFS: No it doesn’t.

Claim: It supports/improves colon health!

UYBFS: It literally does the exact opposite.

Claim: It helps the whole body detox!

UYBFS: That is not a thing, and if it were, this is not the way.

Claim: It improves fertility!

UYBFS: That is sheer insanity. You don’t even believe that, do you?

Claim: It makes the digestive system more efficient!

UYBFS: You understand that food is already digested and the nutrients absorbed before it gets to your colon, right?

Claim: It increases the body’s absorption of vitamins and minerals!

UYBFS: No even a little bit. See above.

Claim: It reduces the risk of colon cancer!

UYBFS: No it doesn’t.

Claim: It maintains the proper pH balance in your body/blood

UYBFS: Cleansing can not and will not change your blood pH. Body pH is not a thing.

YEAH BUT THEN WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE DO IT?

First of all, we’re not sure that many people do this. Maybe among celebrities (or people who want to be like them) this might be a thing, but how many people do you know who have ever cleansed, much less do it regularly? Sure, Gwyneth Paltrow thinks it’s a good idea and will even sell you a $135 dollar glass jar to help you squirt coffee up your butt, however, Gwyneth Paltrow should NEVER be trusted with health advice. Going to a professional for “colon hydrotherapy” will cost $80 to $100 per visit, and your health insurance isn’t going help out with the bill. Or you could buy an enema and do it yourself, which is… gross.

There is most certainly a small subset of people who “like” cleanses, enough that there is a name for it: “klismaphilia”. There are a lot of nerve endings in there, and there is little doubt that some people find it pleasurable. UYBFS doesn’t judge – if it floats your boat no worries, but let’s not pretend that it’s somehow improving your health. It is not.

I SUPPOSE ITS DANGEROUS? UYBFS IS ALWAYS TELLING US THINGS ARE DANGEROUS

Come on, man, that’s not true!

With that said, yes this is totally dangerous. The main risks are perforating your colon (it sounds bad, and it really is), bloating, nausea, vomiting, dehydration, infections, and serious electrolyte imbalances. People have died from coffee enemas. These are not safe and provide no health benefits.

OK, SO HOW ABOUT CLEANSING WITH LAXITIVES AND TEAS?

Also not a good idea – excessive laxitive use can cause many of the same negative health effects listed above, and some of those teas can be toxic too. Also, weren’t you paying attention a few paragraphs ago when we told you there are no toxins cleverly hiding out in your colon?  There are no health benefits of cleansing.

SO… YOU’RE SAYING SKIP THE CLEANSE?

I think we’ve made our recommendation pretty clear. The idea of treating auto-intoxication with cleanses is as outdated as using leeches to treat disease.  We know that there are no toxins hanging out in your gut causing disease or preventing you from concentrating at work, and we know cleansing can be dangerous. The risk/benefit profile here is terrible – all risk and no known benefit. Also, it’s gross. Leave your colon alone and skip the cleanse.